10 challenges faced by adult children of parents with mental illness
Aug 15, 2022
Introduction
It is estimated that one in five children worldwide has a parent with a mental illness such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or multiple personality disorder. Children of parents with mental illness (COPMI) often face specific challenges that are associated with reduced mental health, poorer academic achievement, and impaired social well-being and quality of life.
Parents with mental illnesses can leave their children angry, helpless, and embarrassed. Young children can’t understand why their parent is acting in a weird way. Teenagers are often just angry and embarrassed at their parent’s behavior. In becoming a carer for their parent with a strong sense of responsibility, a sense of a lost childhood may be experienced. In addition, some adults walk away from their parents.
These challenges can have a lasting effect on the adult child's mental health. COPMI may suffer from a range of mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. They may also have difficulty trusting people and forming close relationships. In addition, they may struggle academically and experience social isolation.
Whereas nowadays some support groups exist for teenage children of mentally ill parents, adult children often lack this support and they are completely underserved with offers for help and support. They are the forgotten and invisible children nobody thinks about. As a result, it is important to provide support and understanding to these individuals.
Mental illness can be a very difficult thing for anyone to deal with, but it can be especially tough for children where a parent has a mental illness such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or another major psychiatric disorder.
These children often grow up feeling isolated, ashamed, and scared. They may have a hard time processing their experiences and may struggle with mental health problems of their own.
Mental health coaching can be a helpful tool for adult children of parents with mental illness. A coach can provide support and guidance as they navigate their challenges. They can help the COPMI to understand their experiences, access their trauma, process their emotions, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Coaching can also help them to set goals and make positive changes in their lives. With the right help, they can overcome these challenges and lead fulfilling lives.
If you are an adult child of a parent with mental illness, know that you are not alone. This blog is intended to shed light on the struggles of adult children who have parents with a mental illness. Read this blog and see that there is help available. A mental health coach can be a valuable ally in your journey toward healing and growth.
I. The challenges faced by adult children of parents with mental illness
1. Stigma - Feeling isolated and ashamed
Being a child of mentally ill parents, we are all too familiar with stigma. Most or all of us have experienced stigma in one way or the other and it had a profound impact on us that might last until today.
Stigma is widespread and caused by historical, cultural, and sociological reasons. Especially mental illness is stigmatized in almost every country, society, or culture in the world as a result of the social context and the perception of the public with social disapproval. Mentally ill people are often considered as abnormal, incompetent, dangerous, unpredictable, and of weak character.
As a result, children of mentally ill parents often grow up feeling isolated, alone, and ashamed. This is because they may not have anyone to talk to about their parent's illness. They may feel like they are the only ones going through this experience. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
In addition, they may feel like they have to hide their parent's mental illness from others for fear of being judged or rejected. This can lead to a sense of isolation and loneliness that can be difficult to overcome.
Different kind of stigma
There are various kind of stigma that affects children and young people with mentally ill parents. Here are 4 different types of stigmas that children of mentally ill parents often face:
A. Social stigma or experienced stigma: This is the most public form of stigma and occurs when a person is seen as different from the norm and is rejected by society as a result. Experienced stigma is when someone experiences first-hand discrimination or negative treatment due to their association with mental illness. This might include being passed over for a job or being treated poorly by others. This stigma can lead to discrimination in housing, employment, and education, among other areas.
B. Anticipated stigma: This is when someone expects to be discriminated against or treated negatively in the future due to their association with mental illness. This can lead to a sense of anxiety and fear about how others will react if they find out about their parent's illness.
Associated stigma is when someone is discriminated against or treated negatively because of their association with someone who has a mental illness. This can happen when children are teased or bullied by other kids at school because
C. Self-stigma or affiliated/internalized stigma: This occurs when a person internalizes the negative attitudes and beliefs about mental illness that are prevalent in society and believes them to be true about themselves. The children feel ashamed or embarrassed about having a mentally ill relative which is also often referred to as a family stigma. This can lead to them being isolated from other family members and feeling like they have to hide the illness from others.
They perceive themselves as being contaminated and inferior. It creates fear and self-reflexive sensitivity related to possible symptoms as children are aware of their status of being a member of an at-risk group for developing a mental illness. This can lead to low self-esteem, shame, worthlessness, and hopelessness.
D. Structural stigma: This type of stigma is created by the systems and institutions in place that discriminate against mentally ill people. For example, mental health services may be underfunded or difficult to access, which can make it harder for mentally ill people to get the help they need.
2. Struggling to process their traumatic experiences
Children of mentally ill parents often struggle to process the traumatic experiences and sometimes even abuse they have witnessed or been a part of. Often at a young age, they may have seen their parent experience hallucinations, act out in anger, or become suicidal. This can be very confusing and frightening for a child. As a result, they may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, or depression.
The children may also struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame. They may think that if they had only been better behaved or done something differently, their parent wouldn't be ill. This can lead to a significant sense of responsibility for their parent's illness that is difficult to shake.
Often the traumatic experiences get repressed as it would be too difficult for the child and adolescent to live with them. Those repressed experiences and emotions go into the subconscious mind and are not accessible anymore. However, they influence the child in its adulthood without it knowing. This may result in relationship, family, or parenting problems and connections with family members, friends, and colleagues.
3. Difficulty trusting people and forming close relationships
Children of mentally ill parents often have difficulty trusting people and forming close relationships. This is because they have witnessed their parent's illness firsthand and know how unpredictable and dangerous it can be. They may think that if they let someone get too close, they will end up getting hurt.
As a result, they may isolate themselves from others or only form superficial relationships. They may have trouble trusting their partner, which can lead to relationship problems. They may also find it difficult to be open and honest with people, which can make it hard to form close friendships although they could serve as protective factors for them.
4. Feeling like they have to protect their parent and having to take on a caretaker role
Children of mentally ill parents often feel like they have to protect their parent from the outside world. They may lie to friends and family members about their parent's condition or try to keep them from getting too involved. This can be a lot of responsibility for a child and can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety.
Those children and young people often have to take on a caretaker role. They may have to help their parent and family with activities of daily living, such as cooking, cleaning, and shopping. The children may also have to provide emotional support and help them manage their illnesses. This can be a lot of responsibility for a child and can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and exhaustion.
Children with mentally ill parents are sometimes referred to as "parentified children." This phrase refers to a circumstance in which children and young people have to assume the responsibilities of their ill parent and provide parenting for them since their own parent is unable or unwilling to do so. These children and young people generally have a difficult time growing up feeling safe and protected.
5. Unmet emotional needs
Children of mentally ill parents often have unmet emotional needs. This is because their parent is not able to provide the emotional support they need due to their illness. As a result, the child may feel neglected, rejected, and unloved. They may also struggle with feelings of worthlessness and shame. This can lead to difficulties in forming close relationships and a sense of isolation.
When children are responsible for their emotional and physical well-being during their crucial development years, it often means they have to anticipate the emotions of those around them at the expense of their own emotional needs. This is a state of mind that many of us adult children of parents with mental illness have experienced firsthand.
However, it makes it difficult even at a later age to focus on our own emotions, admit our emotional needs and create healthy boundaries. Setting those boundaries requires significant practice.
6. Experiencing financial instability
Families where a parent is mentally ill often experience financial instability. This is because their parent's illness may make it difficult for them to work or hold down a job. As a result, the family may struggle to make ends meet. This can lead to feelings of stress and anxiety.
7. Feeling like they need to be perfect
Children of mentally ill parents often feel like they need to be perfect. They may think that if they make any mistakes, it will reflect badly on their parent. This can lead to a lot of pressure and stress. the pressures of the parental psychiatric condition. It can also make it difficult for them to achieve their own goals and dreams.
8. Increased risk for mental health problems of their own - Anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder
Children of mentally ill parents often worry about the future. They may worry about what will happen to their parent if they can't manage their illness. They may also worry about how their own lives will be affected by their parent's illness. The knowledge that they are at a higher risk of developing mental illnesses themselves leads to feelings of anxiety and stress.
Many COPMI worry that they will develop mental illness themselves. This is because they have seen firsthand how their parent's illness has affected their lives. They may think that if they get too close to someone with mental illness, they will catch it. This can lead to social isolation and anxiety.
Many children of mentally ill parents go on to develop mental health problems themselves. This is because they have seen firsthand how their parent's illness has affected their life. They may think that if they get too close to someone with mental illness, they will catch it. This can lead to anxiety and depression. Additionally, these children are at an increased risk for developing post-traumatic stress disorder.
9. Lack of support
COPMI often feel like they are alone in their struggles. This is because there is a lack of support available to them. There are few resources and little understanding from the outside world. This can lead to feelings of isolation and hopelessness. Additionally, it can make it difficult for COPMI to find help when they need it.
10. Having a hard time accepting their parent's illness
COPMI often have a hard time accepting their parent's illness. They may think that if they accept it, then it means that their parent will never get better. This can lead to feelings of denial, anger, and hopelessness.
II. The benefits of working with a coach
A. Setting goals and making positive changes in their lives
One of the benefits of working with a coach is that they can help you to set goals and make positive changes in your life. If you are struggling with your mental health, it can be difficult to know where to start or what changes to make. A coach can help you to identify goals and create a plan to achieve them. They can also provide support and guidance as you implement changes in your life. Making positive changes can lead to improved mental health and a greater sense of well-being.
B. Increased self-awareness
Working with a coach can help you to become more self-aware. When you are struggling with your mental health, it can be difficult to understand your thoughts and emotions. A coach can help you to explore your experiences and gain insights into your behaviors and patterns. This increased self-awareness can lead to improved mental health as you develop a greater understanding of yourself and your needs.
C. Increased sense of self-worth
A coach can assist you in recognizing your own self-worth, which oftentimes leads to enhanced mental health and improved quality of life. If you have been having a difficult time accepting yourself just as you are, working with a coach may help shift your perspective. They will collaborate with you to set achievable goals that support personal growth and improve how you see yourself--ultimately leading to a greater sense of well-being.
E. Improved relationships
Working with a coach can assist you in improving your relationships. It might be tough to keep good connections when you are having mental health problems. A coach may assist you in communicating more effectively, establishing boundaries, and managing conflict as well as helping you understand your needs better. Improving your relationships can lead to stronger mental health and a greater sense of well-being.
F. Greater life satisfaction
A coach can help you in discovering a greater sense of life fulfillment. It might be difficult to feel that your life is meaningful or pleasurable if you're having trouble with your mental health. A coach can assist you in developing goals and making beneficial changes in your life. They may also aid in the development of a deeper sense of self-awareness and an increased awareness of your requirements. Improved mental health and well-being might result from increasing life satisfaction.
G. Enhanced well-being
Working with a coach might help you improve your well-being. It might be tough to feel happy or pleased if you are having difficulties with your mental health. A coach can assist you in establishing goals and making positive changes in your life. They can also assist you in gaining a deeper sense of self-awareness and understanding your needs. Improving your well-being can lead to enhanced mental health and a greater appreciation of life.
III. What is mental health coaching?
Mental health coaching is a method of working with a mental health expert and client to discover ways to enhance the client's life. It's a type of coaching that focuses on assisting clients in improving their mental well-being and addressing any issues they may be having.
This might range from establishing and achieving personal objectives to enhancing relationships to learning how to deal with anxiety or non-clinical depression.
The coach will help the client to explore their thoughts and feelings, understand their triggers, and develop new coping mechanisms. Timely intervention can prevent medical treatment of the client.
Mental health coaches work according to the personal needs of the client and use the experience most relevant to them not only for clients' goal realization but also to achieve high functioning beyond that.
Mental health coaching is different from therapy because it does not seek to address mental illness. Instead, mental health coaching is a targeted approach that helps people develop healthy coping mechanisms and achieve their goals.
Inner Dynamics as Part of Mental Health Coaching
The "Inner Dynamics" coaching model which is based on the fact that we all have different parts of ourselves, is the most sophisticated and advanced type of mental health therapy. This coaching technique has been accepted by philosophers and psychologists for thousands of years.
This implies that specialized coaches assist clients in comprehending and resolving their various personality traits and how they interact with each other, resulting in improvements in their lives. With the Inner Dynamics technique, it is possible to go into the subconscious mind and access long forgotten and deeply buried traumatic experiences and create a profound healing process.
Inner Dynamics might be a very effective weapon for people who are having difficulties with their mental health due to traumatic experiences.
IV. How mental health coaching can help?
A. Improved mental health
Working with a coach can provide many benefits for improved mental health. A coach can help you to understand your experiences, process your emotions, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Additionally, a coach can help you to set goals and make positive changes in your life. Working with a coach can lead to increased understanding of your experiences, improved emotional processing, development of healthy coping mechanisms, and setting goals and making positive changes. These benefits can lead to improved mental health.
A. Providing support and guidance
In most cases, COPMI have not received any significant psychological support from health professionals as a child and adolescent. This may lead to traumas deeply buried in the subconscious mind. Most adult children and their families are not aware of these factors.
Mental health coaching can provide support and guidance as you make positive changes in your life. If you are struggling with your mental health, it can be difficult to know where to start or what changes to make. A coach can help you to identify goals and create a plan to achieve them. They can also provide support and encouragement as you implement changes in your life. Making positive changes can lead to improved mental health and a greater sense of well-being.
B. Increased understanding of their experiences
Mental health coaching can help you to gain a greater understanding of your experiences. If you are struggling with your mental health, it can be difficult to understand your thoughts and emotions. A coach can help you to explore your experiences and gain insights into your behaviors and patterns. This increased self-awareness can lead to improved mental health as you develop a greater understanding of yourself and your needs.
C. Setting goals and making positive changes in their lives
One of the most important things you can do for your mental health is to set goals and make positive changes in your life. This can be difficult if you are struggling with your mental health, but it is important to remember that change is possible. A coach can help you to identify goals and develop a plan to achieve them. They can also provide support and encouragement as you implement changes in your life. Making positive changes can lead to improved mental health and a greater sense of well-being.
V. The benefits of coaching for adult children of parents with mental illness
A. Increased understanding of their experiences
Mental health coaching can help you to gain a greater understanding of your experiences. If you are struggling with your mental health, it can be difficult to understand your thoughts and emotions.
A coach can help you to explore your experiences and gain insights into your behaviors and patterns. This increased self-awareness can lead to improved mental health as you develop a greater understanding of yourself and your needs.
Furthermore, a coach who is an adult child of a parent with mental illness will be the best professional to understand your situation as he/she has gone through the same experiences.
B. Improved emotional processing and regulation
COPMI often grew up in a chaotic and unpredictable environment. As a result, they can develop problems with emotional processing and regulation which can lead to a higher risk of developing mental disorders themselves.
Some common challenges include:
- Difficulty understanding and expressing emotions
- Difficulty regulating emotions
- Increased anxiety and stress levels
- Increased risk of developing mental health disorders
Mental health coaching can help you to improve your emotional processing. If you are struggling with your mental health, it can be difficult to cope with your emotions. A coach can help you to understand your emotions and to develop healthy coping strategies. This can lead to improved mental health as you learn how to manage your emotions in a healthy way.
C. Developing healthy coping mechanisms
As the child of a mentally ill parent, you might have experienced a lot of trauma and pain in your life. It is important to find healthy ways to cope with these feelings so that they don't rule your life. Some helpful coping mechanisms include:
-Talk to somebody who understands and can offer support, such as qualified health professionals like mental health coaches, counselors, or support group
-Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal
-Engage in activities that make you feel good, such as spending time outdoors, listening to music, or spending time with friends or family members who make you feel loved and supported
-Practice self-care, such as mindfulness, getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising regularly
-Avoid alcohol and drugs, as they can make your problems worse
If you are struggling to cope with your experiences, it is important to seek professional help. A mental health coach can help you work through your traumas and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
VI. Taking the first step toward healing
A. Making the decision to seek help
Making the decision to seek help from a mental health coach is a personal decision. If you are struggling with your mental health, it is important to reach out for help. There is no shame in seeking help. It is a big step forward to make this important decision as this will eventually improve and change your life.
If you are ready to take the first step toward healing, a mental health coach can help you on your journey.
B. Seeking professional help from a mental health coach
If you are struggling with your mental health, it is important to seek professional help. A mental health coach can help you to understand your experiences and develop healthy coping mechanisms. They can also provide support and encouragement as you make positive changes in your life. Taking the first step toward healing can be difficult, but it is an important step on the road to recovery.
If you are interested in finding a mental health coach, there are several ways to get started. You can ask your doctor or therapist for a referral, or you can search online for coaches in your area. You can also contact a local mental health organization or support group to find out about coaching services in your community.
You can also find specialized mental health coaches through the internet as this kind of coaching can also be done virtual and not only in person.
C. Finding a qualified mental health coach
When looking for a coach, it is important to find someone who you feel comfortable with, and who you feel will understand your needs. It is also important to make sure that the coach is properly trained and qualified.
It is difficult to become a mental health coach. Many mental health coaches go through extensive mental health coach training and receive coaching courses. They may be life experts who want to succeed in their understanding of mental illness.
They will also have experience working with people who have mental health concerns. You can ask your doctor or therapist for referrals to qualified coaches in your area. You can also search online for coaches who are certified by a professional organization, such as the International Coach Federation as this is the gold standard for coaching professionals.
C. Making the commitment to change
Making the commitment to change can be difficult, but it is an important step on the road to recovery. A mental health coach can help you to develop a plan for making positive changes in your life. They can also provide support and encouragement as you implement your plan. Making the commitment to change is a vital step toward improving your mental health and achieving your goals.
D. Look for a special course for mental health coaching of adult children of parents with mental illness
As an adult child of a mother with mental illness and a Certified Mental Health Coach specializing in Inner Dynamics and NLP, I have created the three-month “Making peace with the past“ online course with private mental health coaching sessions. It is perfect for businesswomen and female entrepreneurs who have suffered from childhood trauma due to parental mental illness. The "Making Peace With Your Past" course is designed to help you overcome your childhood trauma, help your personal development, and emotional well-being, and empower you to create a new life for yourself. Through a combination of mindset training, habit-forming, and intensive self-discovery, you will learn how to let go of the past and open a bright future for yourself.
Questions
How does parental mental illness affect children? write about this question
Parental mental illness can have a profound effect on children. It can lead to emotional difficulties, such as anxiety and depression. It can also cause problems with social and behavioral development. Parental mental illness can make it difficult for children to form healthy attachments and relationships. It can also increase the risk of developing mental health problems later in life.
Can mental disorders be passed from parent to child?
Mental disorders can be passed from parent to child. Mental illness often runs in families, and children of parents with mental illness are at an increased risk of developing mental health problems. However, it is important to remember that not all children of parents with mental illness will develop mental health problems. There are many factors that contribute to the development of mental illness, and not all of them are understood.
How does a mother's mental health affect child development?
A mother's mental health can have a profound effect on child development. It can lead to emotional difficulties, such as anxiety and depression. It can also cause problems with social and behavioral development. Parental mental illness can make it difficult for children to form healthy attachments and relationships. It can also increase the risk of developing mental health problems later in life.
What is COPMI?
COPMI is an acronym for Children of Parents with Mental Illness. COPMI is a national initiative that aims to improve the mental health and wellbeing of children whose parents have a mental illness. COPMI provides information, support, and resources for families affected by parental mental illness.
Conclusion
Mental illness can be difficult for everyone involved. If you are the child of a parent with mental illness, you may face unique challenges. Parental mental illness can have a significant impact on children. It is important to be aware of the challenges faced by children of parents with mental illness, and to seek help if needed.
As children of mentally ill parents, we are all too familiar with the challenges that come with stigma. Most or all of us have experienced stigma in one way or another, and it has had a profound impact on us that might last until today.
Stigma is widespread and and creates challenges for adult children of mentally ill parents in many aspects of their lives. For example, we might have difficulty forming and maintaining relationships because we are afraid of being rejected or judged by others. We might also struggle with our mental health due to the stress of living with a parent with mental illness.
Mental health coaching is a relatively new field yet extremely beneficial that is growing in popularity. A mental health coach is a professional who helps people manage their mental health by providing support, guidance, and accountability.
Mental health coaches can be a valuable resource for families affected by parental mental illness and can help adult children of parents with mental illness in many ways.
For example, they can provide support and guidance on how to deal with stigma. They can also help us identify and manage our stressors. And, they can provide accountability as we work toward our goals.
They can help you to develop a plan for making positive changes in your life, and provide support and encouragement as you implement your plan. Making the commitment to change is a vital step toward improving your mental health and achieving your goals.
If you’re struggling with the challenges of being an adult child of a parent with mental illness, know that you’re not alone. Mental health coaching can help you manage your challenges and reach your goals. If you’re ready to take the first step toward healing, contact a mental health coach today.
Author
Dr. Margit is a Certified Mental Health Coach specializing in Inner Dynamics, Professional Certified Coach by the International Coaching Federation ICF, Master Life Coach, NLP Master, Certified Mindfulness Practitioner, award-winning author, sought-after speaker, and falcon doctor.
Dr. Margit hosts a free biweekly mindfulness group called "Peaceful Mind Group" that is delivered virtual via zoom.
She's passionate about helping businesswomen with childhood parental mental illness trauma by supporting them by "Making peace with your past" online course with private coaching sessions and creating a new positive, empowered, resilient, and authentic YOU in three months.
Dr. Margit believes that coaching with pets and horses opens the way to a new kind of empowerment and healing. Her award-winning and inspirational book Your Pet, Your Pill™: 101 Inspirational Stories About How Pets Lead You to a Happy, Healthy and Successful Life enchants, motivates, enlightens, and fascinates the readers with stories full of inspiration and positivity.
Find out more on www.coachformentalhealth.com and www.margitmuller.com
Dr. Margit's books
Practical Handbook of Falcon Husbandry and Medicine
